Doting on Deirdre: ::right now::

::right now:: A weekly Soulemama tradition.

right now, I am ...

:: marveling that it is almost July. One month until we move into our new home. One month, one month...

:: revisiting memories of my summer pregnancies as I rejoice with my sister and brother (in law- but I'll keep them) about their new little life that will be a girl. Their daughter. My niece. The cousin of my children.

:: plotting plans for our new home. New rooms and places of love and refugee. And yet I still realize that its not about the new 'things' we have but the love and memories that we will share there- which is what really matters.

:: finishing the old toys round-up and purge. The twinge of mothering guilt stings less and less each day as I discover that my children do not miss them and are better for it.

:: stopping myself from running off and spending the new money on lots of new toys, instead getting one heirloom toy , table, ~~bedset~~, and a rug!

:: wondering if the baby bluejay that adopted me this evening will make it through the night. Shalom. What will be, will be... by God's grace.

:: loving my sweet precious daughter whom came home early at 10pm tonight from her overnight stay with Omi because she "missed me and daddy and babyey Jonas Bonus". As I tucked her into bed and gave her lion kisses with my arms wrapped around her, she told me that "this feels much better, this is the right place to be". Oh dear heart and soul be still and savor this. Breath her life in and keep this moment forever.

:: listening to the cicadas hum. Ah yes this is the song of summer.

:: thanking the Lord for providing us with a free bed and mattress for my baby Emil Jonas, who is moving into his big bed in a months time. Thank you Nicole Carroll. You and your family are blessings from the Lord to us and our church.

::weeping as I realize my baby Jonas isn't a baby anymore. They're tears of mixed emotions. Happiness that he is experiencing new parts of God's world. Sadness because of my realization that he will never need me as much as he once did anymore. And immense all encompassing gratitude that the Lord has given me such a beautiful gift, deemed me worthy to receive it, and kept him from harm thus far.

:: feeling very connected to the needs of my family right now. Mommy needs to hold a bit more this week and clean a bit less.

:: loving my daughter's heart for those in need. She still prays every night for her friend with CF and his Mommy.

:: hoping that she keeps her sweet caring spirit with her all her life.

:: wanting to go back to my mother's house and to the beach. I love the beach. The ocean is just what I needed this weekend!

:: thinking about the fun musical time we get to have with family tomorrow night- and wishing Craig could be there!

:: reminding myself that this period is a part of my God's perfect plan and is purposeful.

:: making lovely home school plans for the Autumn...while I drink more lemonade!

:: wishing you a lovely summer's eve and a beautiful start to your weekend!