Letting Go

For a very long time I was a stressed person. Through most of high school I considered myself carefree and free spirited. I did well in school and I had a lot going on but I was never wound tight. If I did get stressed, I would go surfing or kick the soccer ball around and then things just seemed to work themselves out. 


And then my senior came along, bad things went down at home, I moved out and life became more burdensome. If you've read my past blogs, then you know my parents have dealt with substance abuse issues. So that is about as much as I will go into tonight on why I moved out. Seven years later and I still think its one of the best decisions I have ever made. 


After moving out and into early college I became wound pretty tight. I was in defense mode and just trying to get by. Getting by for me meant closing myself off and pushing through. Life had lost a bit of its luster for me. This is not to demean any of my life experiences from then until now, because truly I have lived great life, become closer to my creator, seen a good chunk of the world, and loved deeply and learned to lover deeper in the past seven years. However I was still wound pretty tight. 


I think it was this past winter when I started learning more about Waldorf that I reflected on where I lost myself. I found some old surfing photos and I wanted to get back to that carefree state more in my current daily life. Since then I think I have been making some great strides towards that end. One of those strides has been just going with the flow more. One of the things I love about Waldorf education is their emphasis on daily rhythms versus a schedule. Days have themes and a loose order but no arbitrary time slots and rigidness. If cooking with the kids takes longer, because well you all are having fun, then thats ok and the day will just run a little later. 


My children are creatures of habit, as all little ones tend to be. They need rhythm and having them gives them a sense of security in the universe-without the stress of a schedule. Hurrying all the time is detrimental to creativity  Trust me I know! 


So here is a prime example tonight. As we were tending to the animals after dinner and before bath, The kids got into the water and had a blast! The old Nicole would have gotten upset because now their clothes are wet and they're going to mess the floors up. Instead we had a hose bath tonight and stayed out for an hour.


Rich full memories were made tonight. I got to enjoy them and be engaged. No worrying here. Just going with the flow. 

Daily Verse or Quote: He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. – Proverbs 7:8-9 (NIV)