A Sobering Father's Day

On father's day I have a lot to reflect on, as well as all the fathers in my life do I am sure. Just as no mother or person is perfect, neither is any father. There are however, as my favorite quotes recites, many ways to be a good one. 

My father is a good father. I know that he loves my brother and I dearly. He broke his back, literally, working as a mechanic to provide for us. For that he has my eternal love and respect. I grew up as a daddy's girl and to this day he and I do have a special connection. When he is having a good day, he is a delight to be around. 

But you see my father is an alcoholic. He has been one for as long as I can remember. While my father was a happy drunk for most of my childhood, he did have his angry moments. One of those moments ended in my heartbreak in June 2005, resulting in his arrest and conviction. Since then our relationship has never been the same. In the past six years I have seen my father less than ten times, which is only exacerbated by the fact my parents divorced in 2005. But no one is perfect. I forgave him, he forgave me and we moved on. With that being said I also know that it is good to have boundaries for the sake of my children. My father, to his credit, comes about the alcoholism honestly though. Every member of his family and on his mother's side of that family has been an alcoholic. 

So on days like father's day I choose to not focus on the negative, but to take them as a warning and break the cycle in my own life by the grace of God only. 

I choose to remember my daddy and I as we walked on the beach at sunset on the bay, picking up shells when I was three. Before I knew that my father loved something else more than he loved me. 

I also reflect, happily on this day, about my husband- the father of my children. He is the best father and man I know, next to his own father. He loves the Lord with all his heart, then me, and then our kids (as it should be because happy loving parents equal happy loving kids-trust me I know).  When I became pregnant with Deirdre at 21, he gave up his successful music career and college aspirations, to work a cruddy job to support me. After I gave birth to Deirdre and could not walk for six weeks, he waited on us hand and foot. He continued to work two more cruddy jobs (until he finally found a good one last April!) for us and supported me through the rest of my education and another baby along the way. 

Craig never complains about my bad cooking, the housework that takes awhile to get done, the crafting, and my crazy dreams of living on a farm. He just loves us truly. And I knew that when he married me and again on the moment he became a father for the first time on December 18th, 2007. 

Just look at how he marvels at our baby?

Deirdre Cosette 12.18.07

Emil Jonas 2.10.10

Emil Jonas' namesake, my father-in-law

Art and our Waldorf Co-op

PS: We have 3 chrysalises 

Now on to the blog: 

Tonight is a lazy night. We did not get home from our day trip until 7:30pm. Today the kiddos and I visited my mother and brother in Virginia Beach, my hometown. I also was lucky enough to see my high school/college best friend Jess during nap time- a rare and sweet time for us both now that we both have kids! I missed her daughter's baptism last weekend due to Jonas being sick, but I was there today and was able to give her a little homemade reversible quilted bib. Abbie's gift was the first sewn gift I have given anyone besides my kids. So I am nervous about it. I am very critical of my sewing. But babies are forgiving :) I just love that little Abbie! 


But on to the focus of the blog! Part of my homeschooling vision is incorporating Waldorf education into our daily lives and schooling. This all began back in October when a dear friend Sarah gave me a Nova Natural toy catalog. Yes, this all began with toys! Their catalog was pure art and so vastly different to anything I have seem commercial on the market. Something deeply resonated with me while flipping through their pages. That resonation drove me to dig deeper and see the aesthetic and vision behind the toy company. All of that then lead to Waldorf education. At the time, I had never heard of Waldorf before, which was shocking and disappointing  since I was studying 'Education' and recently received my Masters in Teaching. 


So after falling in love with Waldorf and finding my mothering compass, I began making small subtle changes in our home and schooling. One of the aspects of Waldorf that I love the most is their attention to arts and crafts as well as the respect it is given when created by a child. My daughter was particularly drawn to wet-on-wet watercolor painting and beeswax modeling. I however had never seen any of the supplies that I needed to do these activities in our local Michael's. So I turned to the Internet! 


While Nova does supply the things I needed, I could not afford to keep getting them as often as required from them. Even though their prices are very very reasonable!  I generally use Nova for our Waldorf toys and household items. No one beats them in that department. But Bella Luna Toys is also high up on my list. I love Sarah Baldwin. 


So for our quality Waldorf home-schooling supplies we turned to Cedar Ring Circle Co-op. Becca over there is a fellow Momma and works so hard for the families in the Co-op. She helps supply us homeschooling Moms with quality and affordable Waldorf supplies. We do a monthly order, and members get an awesome discount. I highly suggest them to you. We are so pleased and grateful. Traditional large schools can afford to buy in bulk, but homeschoolers don't have that luxury, yet we all want the necessary supplies for our kids, right? Also since Waldorf is specialized and not well known, the supplies and toys used are hard to find and can be expensive. 


So my fellow Waldorf home school moms, please check Cedar Ring Circle out if you need to access to quality Waldorf supplies! I am so glad that I did! 

-http://stores.cedarringcircle.com/StoreFront.bok                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

DD's 1st wet-on-wet watercolor

nature table 

DD's 2nd wet on wet watercolor painting

She uses it now as a carpet for her gnome house. 

Nature/Painting Corner

A Tiger!- Beeswax crayons have such great color to them and glide on so smooth. 

Lion

Flowers

Busy busy boys

Today was a glorious at home busy day. I am finding that all my animals (5 chickens, 3 rabbits, 2 ducks, and 2 geese) are taking up a large chunk of my free time as well as my big garden and compost. Who knew, right?

When Craig was working less, he helped and primarily took care of the compost and garden, but now that is all on me. Today I timed it all and I spend 2 hours and 15 minutes outside just working on the above mentioned things. Phew. Really I do not mind, but having two kids in tow behind me makes things creep a little slower. So now I do the heavy animal stuff before the kids wake up and during nap time. When they're awake I take them out and we all do the garden and compost together. Even though this is 'work' I am happy to be outside and we are just starting to reap some rewards (lots of raspberries, blueberries, and tomatoes from the garden!)

These are some of our yellow cherry tomatoes that I used in tonight's tomato sauce! 

But on to the topic I really wanted to share about, my busy busy boy. Jonas, my baby, is growing up- much to my chagrin!! He is full into toddler mode, talking-signing-walking-running-rough housing and all! He is a very busy boy too. 

Deirdre was a busy toddler, but in a different way. Jonas has to be inspecting everything. His curiosity is endless and is something that I encourage. His favorite things are to be held by Ma-ma, to look at books but preferably to be read to by Ma-ma, to play in the recycling, to help Ma-ma doing whatever she is doing, and to be outside close to Ma-ma. See the trend?

When I am not around, he is happy to use Deirdre as a Ma-ma substitute for awhile. Recently though, he has begun venturing off on his own in the yard to play in our playhouse while I water the garden. Jonas is spunky too. He knows exactly where the watering can is and once we get outside he immediately bee-lines for it and then heads for the faucet with the can-that is about as tall as him! It really is a funny sight to see. Another favorite is the compost pile where he picks up the scoop and tries to reach in and turn it over like Da-da does. Seriously his modeling and mimicking is phenomenal. I just love him and find his milestones endlessly interesting and entertaining. 

Jonas also loves to help me cook. Deirdre too, and she can actually help me now. She could win first prize for cracking eggs perfectly. Jonas now can stand on the stool which gives him more access to whatever I am cooking. He knows that Mommy pokes the pan with the spoon, so when I pull him up, he grabs the spoon and pokes the pan too- without my prompting. Then he glares up at me, grins and claps his hands. Precious. 

It was this weekend 2 years ago that we first told our family and friends that we were pregnant with Emil Jonas. I remember it because the day was Father's Day, and we told my father-in-law by putting an ultrasound photo in his card. Jonas is also about the age Deirdre was when I got pregnant with him (16 months). So today has been a busy day, with a busy sweet boy, reflecting on my blessed life and future. Have a great weekend, and I will be back tomorrow! 

The Jonas tornado 

On the prowl for recycling- I just cleared it out- so he is upset. 

Success! 

All done and off to check on Deirdre

Ok I am back Ma-ma, pick me "up"

Daily verse or quote:

Philippians 2:14-16

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual created by Amanda Blake Soule. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week (or month- and sometimes for me whats on your mind at the end of the week) A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Have a lovely weekend!

In honor of father's day