Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A Happy Thought


A Happy Thought

The world is so full
of a number of things, 
I'm sure we should all
be happy as kings.

-Robert Louis Stevenson from "A Child's Garden of Verses"




I have taken a bit of a respite from this place. Honestly, not for any reason in particular! I have just been so busy and alternatively our lives have been changing so much. We have been trying to figure out a new family rhythm. 

With Deirdre now in school, our days look different. Now with my return to work soon, as well as having a temporary job on the weekends, it has been a bit up and down. However, we still have been making the most of it and figuring out all of these changes together. Us four, we're a little team to be sure. It has amazed me how well they all have been doing through this. It is a blessing for sure. All of them are growing in news ways. And it has reminded me of what an honor and privilege it is to be their mother. 

Mostly, I find myself filled with divine gratitude. Gratitude for having my children in my life. Gratitude for my family, who has loved us so well through this. Gratitude for my friends, whom are also my family and who I get to raise my children alongside with. Gratitude for my education, which at times I have taken for granted. And gratitude for Waldorf, because that lynchpin in our lives has helped keep me steady- and my mothering steady- which in turn has helped me love my children well. It almost seems like a buffer of sorts, a sense of stability in my home. I can't quite name it. But it is there. 

I also continue to be in awe of the beauty that surrounds us. Maybe I appreciate it more now or maybe I see it more clearly, but I feel like someone has turned up the saturation in my eyes. Life is just brighter

My children have not been the only ones who have been growing. I have too. For once, in a long time, I have had time for myself. I have been doing things for just me. Beautiful yet simple things. And that feels good. My soul feels refreshed and I have a renewed sense of purpose, that I thought I died to a long time ago. It feels good to be alive again in that way. Which all brings me back to gratitude for the people the universe has conspired to put in my life and help me rekindle that. 

So I will leave you all now with a bit of 'catch up' for what we've been up to. We've celebrated 2 birthdays, MANY festivals, taken trips, and had lots of beach and crafting fun. Enjoy my sweet friends. And I will be back soon. 



Brynna is getting so so big! She loves to play at the Yorktown battlefields. 
Secret Places


Jonas turned 4! 


Brynna turned 2! 

Worm trap made by Jonas. 

Yorktown Pirate Day




Easter Eggs :) 

The start of  our garden! 


Yorktown Beach! 
Our trip to Richmond to visit Link and her family as well as the VMFA

Shrove Tuesday
Imbolc pots! 

Green for Spring! 

Day trip to Surry to their Farm Museum. 
One of our last days homeschooling. 
PS: Linking up for the lovely Nicole at Frontier Dreams for KCCO

Love and Light,

Thursday, February 6, 2014

A little red string









Last week the little people and I got to go spend some time with two of my very closest friends, Lila and Anya. Both of them moved this past summer *sob* so we're further apart now and visits are a treat! The bulk of our time was with Anya outside of DC, but halfway in between her house and mine, is Lila's Homestead. As you can see we all had a blast there. I wish I could just move in. It made me miss our animals. Her home is one of those special places that you just palpably feel enveloped by love and good vibes when you walk in. It's a special place. Not to mention, her sweet little one has a special place in my heart. I am hoping I can be his adopted auntie since I LOVE him so.

After our respite with Lila, we headed north to DC to stay with Anya. I don't quite think I can put into words just how special my friendship is with her. Soul sisters I think is a good way to describe it. Not to mention, our kids are all best friends and the same ages, ha! The way we met and the way our friendship has developed, and continues to grow, just sorta blows me away. It's kinda hard to argue that fate doesn't exists with friends like the ones I have. On my dark days, clinging to those undeniable links in my life have helped tremendously. But I digress!

DC was great. It was busy, crazy, and wild with 6 kids between us and 3 adults. At one point all 3 of my kids were sleeping on top of me. But oh how numbered my days of this are. I can take it. Being with Anya, who has literally walked me through all my dark hard times over the past 16 months, was a good reminder of how far I have come, how strong I am, what I truly want out of life, and that I got this.

I won't lie though. I am going on 2 months of this single parent gig and it's intense. Like non-stop overhead sets. Bam. Right now I am sorta glad I did have my kids young because I can still jump out of bed at 3am and run downstairs because Brynna ripped her diaper off again. Or play wrestle and subdue all 3 of them and then pop up to make dinner. Or take all of them on a roadtrip and keep my cool amid the "she's looking funny at me again, MOMMY"!

"Seriously guys? Deep breaths and look out the window!!" PHEW!

But being in this better place where I am right now is so good for my soul. I feel alive and connected to myself and my life again, versus mostly going through the motions and treading water. Things just seem brighter. More vivid. It's kinda crazy really.

Being on call with the kids 24/7 is intense, but for me it's better to actually be physically and emotionally alone in this than to be with someone and still be alone. And for me there is a peace in that. A deep sense of contentment and warmth right in the center on my being.

A lot of things that happened in my past have been coming to mind of late, things I did not quite understand at the time. All of which seem to have been growing and equipping me for this current stint in my journey. I love being able to connect the dots right now, as much as it also hurts.

So yeah, I got this.

I'll see you all on the other side :)










My sharky boy who is about to be 4! Ah!

A male Cooper's hawk right in downtown DC! 


Love & Light,

Saturday, January 25, 2014

At Last!






At long last King Winter paid us a frosty visit and left us with a few inches of lovely snow. It's a rare treat here to have snow period, but as it stands (4 days later) we still have some! The temperatures here have been very frigid and windy- which is not something we are used to. However we've still made it outside everyday this week- go Waldorf and my stubbornness- even if only for a little while. On the first day it snowed, we were out for five hours total. Let's just say I am one tired Mama. 

On the school front we have been having fun with the snow and birds. We painted snowflakes and made lots of snow cream. We also made the birds some millet treats the day it snowed (because Deirdre was so worried about them). One book that we're really enjoying right now is Susan Jeffers' rendition of Robert Frost's poem "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening". It is just a beautifully illustrated book period, not to mention Frost's poem is one of my personal favorites. I am using it to introduce the kids to poetry and how to experience stillness in nature and our lives. "Be Still" is one of our seasonal verses as well, so it fits in well. We even all painted our versions of 'stillness' together. I am loving our art times all together (not just them with me hovering). 








Last weekend on our Saturday hike we got to do some birdwatching and saw a male and female pileated woodpecker! The kids were thrilled. It was a lovely hike. So beautiful and peaceful. Halfway through the hike it randomly started to snow. We all just stood there in silence with big grins on our faces. It was truly magical. 



Male

Female

Other than that we have spent lots of time indoors. Since I set up our artelier, the kids have been making ample use of it. Many afternoons, while Jonas and Brynna are napping, all Deirdre will do is quietly make art for 2 1/2 hours. This is what she did just today! I am really impressed with the doll crown and paper cut outs she's been doing. 








So all in all we've been having fun. Thank you all again for the support and continued concern and love. Your emails and messages really brighten my day! Life is good and I feel like we're in a good place despite the many gray areas looming in our future or my life. Oddly enough for me (since I am very black & white as well as a super planner) I am OK with that. Incredibly, happily, peacefully OK with it in fact. I have felt this past week very much at peace, calm, and warm. Kinda like a week long surf session. My mind keeps trying to talk me out of feeling this way, but I have just been ignoring it (which is not easy to do). I guess I also feel a bit free and empowered to deal with some of the junk in my life, grow from it, and revisit what it is I am doing and want to do. It's led to some great realizations (things I sadly died to long ago) as well as fun rabbit holes. Plus it can't hurt to take a long hard look at all the ugly bits, right? :)

Until next time!
Love & Light,