Thursday, February 6, 2014

A little red string









Last week the little people and I got to go spend some time with two of my very closest friends, Lila and Anya. Both of them moved this past summer *sob* so we're further apart now and visits are a treat! The bulk of our time was with Anya outside of DC, but halfway in between her house and mine, is Lila's Homestead. As you can see we all had a blast there. I wish I could just move in. It made me miss our animals. Her home is one of those special places that you just palpably feel enveloped by love and good vibes when you walk in. It's a special place. Not to mention, her sweet little one has a special place in my heart. I am hoping I can be his adopted auntie since I LOVE him so.

After our respite with Lila, we headed north to DC to stay with Anya. I don't quite think I can put into words just how special my friendship is with her. Soul sisters I think is a good way to describe it. Not to mention, our kids are all best friends and the same ages, ha! The way we met and the way our friendship has developed, and continues to grow, just sorta blows me away. It's kinda hard to argue that fate doesn't exists with friends like the ones I have. On my dark days, clinging to those undeniable links in my life have helped tremendously. But I digress!

DC was great. It was busy, crazy, and wild with 6 kids between us and 3 adults. At one point all 3 of my kids were sleeping on top of me. But oh how numbered my days of this are. I can take it. Being with Anya, who has literally walked me through all my dark hard times over the past 16 months, was a good reminder of how far I have come, how strong I am, what I truly want out of life, and that I got this.

I won't lie though. I am going on 2 months of this single parent gig and it's intense. Like non-stop overhead sets. Bam. Right now I am sorta glad I did have my kids young because I can still jump out of bed at 3am and run downstairs because Brynna ripped her diaper off again. Or play wrestle and subdue all 3 of them and then pop up to make dinner. Or take all of them on a roadtrip and keep my cool amid the "she's looking funny at me again, MOMMY"!

"Seriously guys? Deep breaths and look out the window!!" PHEW!

But being in this better place where I am right now is so good for my soul. I feel alive and connected to myself and my life again, versus mostly going through the motions and treading water. Things just seem brighter. More vivid. It's kinda crazy really.

Being on call with the kids 24/7 is intense, but for me it's better to actually be physically and emotionally alone in this than to be with someone and still be alone. And for me there is a peace in that. A deep sense of contentment and warmth right in the center on my being.

A lot of things that happened in my past have been coming to mind of late, things I did not quite understand at the time. All of which seem to have been growing and equipping me for this current stint in my journey. I love being able to connect the dots right now, as much as it also hurts.

So yeah, I got this.

I'll see you all on the other side :)










My sharky boy who is about to be 4! Ah!

A male Cooper's hawk right in downtown DC! 


Love & Light,

5 comments:

  1. I've said it before, I'll say it again, I love you Nicole! You're absolutely correct, you've got this! And anytime it gets a little overwheming we've got your back. Hugs!

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    1. xoxo to the moon and back! Just a month-ish til I see you again!!

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  2. Your words are eloquent and have a deep, inner power. The red thread wound it's way into my dreams last night and you were there...I will elaborate today! I am certain what makes a place special - what makes a house a home - is when friends gather together there! xo

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    1. Ahhhh Can't wait to chat it up!!!! I am so pumped to see you :) Eek!

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  3. Good for you! I don't know you, but as I mentioned in a past comment. I have been there and it is like reading about my life (only a decade later). Good for you! You do got this! You will be better than great!

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