Mulling over Living

I have been mulling over the topic of "living" today. What a silly thing to mull over really, but not in an existential sense. Tonight I wanted to write an update about our moving plans, our new home, and how we are going to try to make a clean start at green living in this new place- much more so than we do now. 


However after watching the French film "Welcome" tonight with a group of church friends, I felt that I just wanted to share some of the beauty of our lives and the world around us with tonight. God has left us to be stewards of his creation and for this reason I want to live a 'greener' more conscious life. I want to leave my children with a beautiful world, not a dying one. I want them to know nature's beauty and glory. I want them to respect and love the Lord's creation, as it should be. 


So here is a bit of our world. I would be remiss to not share it with you in a post about 'living' since it is the world we live in. The only one we have. 

The Rhodora 
by Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Being Asked Whence Is the Flower

In May, when sea-winds pierced our solitudes,
I found the fresh Rhodora in the woods,
Spreading its leafless blooms in a damp nook,
To please the desert and the sluggish brook.
The purple petals, fallen in the pool,
Made the black water with their beauty gay;
Here might the red-bird come his plumes to cool,
And court the flower that cheapens his array.
Rhodora! if the sages ask thee why
This charm is wasted on the earth and sky,
Tell them, dear, that if eyes were made for seeing,
Then Beauty is its own excuse for being:
Why thou wert there, O rival of the rose!
I never thought to ask, I never knew:
But, in my simple ignorance, suppose
The self-same Power that brought me there brought you.

A Rainbow of Toadstools

About February of this year I began telling Deirdre a bedtime story. Our usual bedtime rhythm before was bath, lotion, pj's, a short TV show on Momma's bed (while I nursed and put Jonas down), then a craft, snuggles, 3 books, prayers, and then bed- commencing at about eight o'clock. 

Soon however Jonas weaned himself and I no longer needed to put on a show for her. Also let me just put it out there that I do dinnertime and bedtime alone without any help usually every night of the week since my husband works nights. So to keep my (at the time 2 year old) safely occupied, a 20 minute show of Maurice Sendak's Little Bear seemed justified. But now there was no more breastfeeding and Deirdre was older so she now plays quietly in her room while I put the baby down. 

All of a sudden however, she and I now had a longer span of time between Jonas' bedtime and hers. I did not want to fill this with a TV show anymore because it was unnecessary, so I decided to try something new to help wind her down. Then viola while I was reading about Waldorf education this February it came to me. I can tell her a story! It seemed simple enough but let me just say that coming up with an original story each night was not so easy or relaxing for me at least.

At first I told her my rehashed versions of fairy tales- Jack and the Beanstalk is a big hit at my house- but  conversely I also felt a desire to tell a her contiguous story. A story in which each night I could add to yet have the same characters. A story that could evolve to include trials and issues she faced during her day. A fun teachings story. So after thinking some more and revisiting my childhood I remembered one of my favorite characters- David the Gnome. 

The funny thing is that I do not remember much about the show. It was on Nickelodeon in the late 80s, but not for very long. However I do remember that David wore a red pointy hat, that his wife's name was Lisa, that he ate a hard boiled egg for breakfast (weird, right!), and he helped animals as well as hated trolls. 

So I took a shot in the dark and told her a story about David. And each night since February she has gotten a new David story from me (unless she is with Omi overnight). That's almost five months of stories, woo-hoo! It is pretty miraculous to me how much she loves and looks forward to these stories. I do not fancy myself a famous bard, but in the eyes of my daughter I am. Each night I repeat the same introduction as follows:

Once upon a time there was a little gnome named David,whom lived at the base of the old oak tree.

Every morning when he wakes up, he puts on his red pointy hat and goes downstairs to eat his breakfast.

Every morning for breakfast he has a hard boiled egg in a little blue egg cup.

When he is finished, he gives his wife Lisa a kiss good-bye and puts on his shoes and walks out his door into the forest.

You see, David is a forest helper gnome.

His job is to help and protect the animals of the forest. 

When I am done with the introduction, I recap what David did in the story from last night and then he continues on his adventure. Deirdre now has the introduction memorized and she likes to say it instead of me. It really is quite a treat and a sweet unique mommy-daughter time. 

Now you might be wondering what this has to do with crafting! Well I will tell you. Have you ever seen a gnome toy, clothing, books, or quilt at the store? No, you say? Well me either! 

As a result of the David stories, Deirdre has taken a keen interest, nay obsession with gnomes. The hard part is that I cannot buy gnome things at most stores. So this Momma buckled down and decided to make some gnome toys and a quilt for her gnome obsessed daughter. (An obsession I whole heartily support).

My latest gnome crafting addition has been her rainbow of toadstools. I am not sure why gnomes and mushrooms are linked to one another, but she asked and I obliged. 

Viola! 

These were very simple. I just wood burned a line between the stem and dome as well as dots. Then I did a watercolor wood stain and sealed with beeswax polish. Its very similar to the wood gnomes I made. You can get the wood blanks from this site, and soon *hopefully* my tutorial will be published. Until then feel free to email if you want to make a pair of your own and need help!


Always, Nicole 

Their new gnome treehouse. I traded her all her old Little People sets for this. It was a good trade.

Their new barn and animals. I also traded her for it. She and Jonas love this. The only Little People sets we kept were our nativity and Christmas Town, both special gifts form relatives. 

Her new set-up, or so she calls it! 

Bliss. 

Moving right along

Ah how I have missed this space! I think that I need to come up with a better weekly blogging plan if I am going to keep up an every day/every other day blog. I really am enjoying blogging. It keeps my mind and pen sharp. Plus its a great record for me and time to sort out my thoughts, and the Lord know that I need help with that! 


While I love to talk and write about just my kids and our family adventures, after awhile that seems a bit dull to me to recap day after day unless something of significant note occurs. I also like to share my ideas of the world, crafting, and issues that are near and dear to my heart like I did with miscarriage and green living. 


So starting next week the blog is going to look a little something like this: 


Monday: ::right now::
Tuesday: Crafting
Wendesday: Living
Thursday: Education
Friday: Mothering 
Saturday: Weekending
Sunday: {this moment}


While this might seem arbitrary and/or rigorous, its not meant to be. Like in all things I need a loose plan or guide. I always have done my best work with a prompt, so I will let this guide be my prompt so I can try my best to produce something of substance each day. Obviously I am a rebel and deviate from the norm at times *note my sarcasm here* , so I am sure I won't keep to this like a saint. However the guide seems to sum up what I talk about each week and looks good to me! 


So here is to a little reorganizing!


On the home front things are moving quite along. I have the kids' rooms planned out and the new things we need ordered. We've chosen paint colors from a nice low VOC green seal paint company and I have begun packing!!! 


I also have been finishing up on some more wood working projects and the quilt bindings to the kids' new big bed quilts. We also got a chance to go to the lagoon again this Sunday. Another glorious time was had by all. We still are so excited about finding this place. It is so neat to see Jonas and Deirdre playing together. And not side by side, but actually together! So enjoy the photos below. Tomorrow there will be a full report on my crafting adventures. 

Until then I wish you a blessed week of peace and joy! 

Playing together making sand cupcakes!!!! DD scooped and Jonas packed the sand! 

He loved finding treasures in the shallows. 

Love this one

I am ready to rock! 

Silly boy, he thinks he can swim but really what he is doing is giving his mother mini heart attacks as he slowly flops and bobs in the ankle deep water. At least he is having fun, right? 

Best feeling ever. Water and sand beneath my toes! 

Deirdre called them gnome homes! 

{A Needed Voice} *warning sad post*

I was a bit unsure of what to write about tonight. I have had a lovely week. I feel like I am on the right track for the move and my kiddos are as darling as ever! Win-win! 

So it might seem odd to write a depressing blog. But its on a subject that needs to be discussed on something I feel moved to share. So I will warn all my pregnant and TTC friends now to not read about this. I do not want to upset you. 

I am writing this blog on miscarriage. Tonight a friend shared a trailer to an awesome short film with me done on how to cope with grief involving miscarriage and stillbirth. I encourage ALL women whom have suffered either to watch this. I also encourage all family members of these women, whom want to know how to comfort them, to watch this. 


Miscarriage is painful. Very painful. It is a unique pain. Not quite the same pain as losing a grown child would be I believe, but painful in its own way nonetheless. I have had two miscarriages. I would be lying if I said that I am 'over' them but I am not. I do have peace about them, which is only due to my faith in God and his providence over my life. I know that it was nothing I did wrong, but it still hurts. I think it actually hurts more now than it did before I had Deirdre and Jonas. Every week or so I think about them. I look at my kids and I think about their possible siblings. I look at the baby clothes that I am giving away and think about them. And well it just hurts. 


I thought this was abnormal for a long time. I even talked to a therapist about it, but it turns out that I am not alone and this is part of the grieving process. So my other friends out there dealing with this, you are not alone. I still cry too. And five years later is still hurts. 


I have miscarried twins and a single pregnancy. One was a little after eight weeks and one was a little after four weeks. Both were unplanned pregnancies and therefore they were not talked about. I can count the fingers on my hand of people whom know about these. One was before I was married and one has been while I have been married. Both of them hurt when I miscarried and both of them felt just like my two healthy full term pregnancies before the miscarriage. 


I do not like to speak of these. One reason is because they both were unplanned and well people to tend to think or say "oh well it was for the best". Let me just put that out there, but that is the absolute worst thing you can say. I was never relieved when I miscarried. I was absolutely destroyed. Both times have been 2 of the 4 worst times in my life. While they were not planned, they were still my children. Children that I will not get to meet in this life and ....well that tears me apart at times. The only person I want to say to me that "this was for the best" is God the father himself, and even then all he has said to me during these times is "I love you" and given me peace. 


Really I think the best thing to do is to give the grieving mother a hug, to tell her sorry, and to tell her that you love her. But that's just me. Because I believe life begins at conception, not just implantation - or birth, I view my miscarried babies as well... babies. Just like I did with Deirdre and Jonas. While this might make it harder on myself to come to terms with, it also in a way makes it easier. I know that one day I will get to meet my children. I know that they are with their heavenly Father as blissfully happy as can be. And I know that they are already home with my lost brothers and sisters waiting to meet Craig and I.  And well that gives me peace.  A pretty powerful and indescribable shalom peace. A peace that truly could only come from my God. 


This peace and knowledge helps me push through those low days when I can't seem to get them off my mind. It helps me to move on slowly and devote myself to the two blessings that I have here with me. It helps me to continue to know that my God is a good and faithful God even when I cannot see it. It just helps. 


So please if you can, take a look at this film's trailer until it is released. Remember you're not alone and that what you're feeling is normal and valid. There are many places online that you can seek help from. Here is one: http://www.thehouseikeep.com/ and a good article on the miscarriage taboo: http://www.gatesfoundation.org/foundationnotes/Pages/jhene-erwin-overcoming-stigma.aspx


Much love and many hugs- Nicole

Phew.

I sorta want to hit life's pause button right now! This week had flown and I have much to do. We move in 23 days. I have an entire house to pack and many projects to do. I also in turn have an entire house to unpack and set up afterwards! Plus I have just as many day to day responsibilities as I do now to contend with during this moving process. 


Oh how I hate you laundry and dishes. You have my permission to go on vacation until we move!


But while I am a bit stressed, I also am so excited. I just need to make a plan and ask for help. (I have made the plan though I just need to get on the help part) 


And thankfully I have that help readily available. I am very blessed to have a sweet mother in law to love on my kiddos when I need her. She really blessed me today and I just want to give her a huge hug. She will have many jewels on her crown in heaven from blessing others in this life. I am really lucky to have her! 


We all are :) 

The day my MIL became an Omi for the first time with Deirdre. She is so good to us and my kiddos!

And an Omi for the third time to my son Emil Jonas! 

Daily Verse or Quote:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

– James 1:5-6 (NIV)

My Curious Georges

Today was a good day. All of my days with my children are good, even if that particular day is trying. With two kids (ages 3.6 and 1.5 years old) you need to be able to make a quit exit from any public place when things start to go south. Thus far that plan has worked well for us and did so again today. 


I personally feel that it is unfair to expect young children to act like adults when you go out in public. So I do not expect my children to act that way and therefore I do not take them places where that type of behavior is expected. Sit down restaurants are one of those places. The few times we have gone, we all had a great time and the kids were phenomenal. Today at MacArthur Mall went well too...for awhile. So I had to leave early from an extended family lunch with my kids. It was stressful but that's ok. I mean it was already past nap time and it was hour late than we usually eat lunch, so truly they did better than I thought they both would. 


But anyway I digress, I suppose my point is that even if a day is not idyllic like yesterday and my plans get changed, I do not deem the day "bad". Every day is a gift from God and soon enough a new one has arrived, so why sweat the small stuff? 

Today, in addition to the mall, we all went with Craig's family to the Chrysler Museum of Art in Norfolk. Right now they have a children's exhibit open on Curious George and the art of Margaret and H.A. Rey. I loved it, the kids loved it, and so did Craig! We had a ball- minus Jonas not being able to drink his bottle inside. After we finished with the child part, we wandered the rest of the museum looking at the modern art and sculptures. I personally love art. I took two art history courses in college and one in high school. In every big city I visited in Europe, the art museum was one of the first places I went to. So to see my kids enjoying art was lovely. Deirdre and I also got to discuss art which was a real treat to see her so into it and interpreting it. 

So yes today was a good day. A blessed day. A day in which I choose to focus on the overwhelming positive points and ignore the few negative blips. Mere blips. 

The Lagoon

As a little girl, from age 1 to 6, I lived on the bay. We went to the beach almost everyday year round- even if it wasn't swimming weather. I have, and always will have, a deep connection to the water. 


When I was young, I dreamed of having my own little lagoon to play and swim in with lots of little sea creatures to discover. And today after 20+ plus years of dreaming we found it and its on a river no less! 


While our "lagoon" is not a real lagoon by the geographic definition, it is our lagoon nonetheless. Shallow clear waters, shade trees, daisies on the shore, shells galore, periwinkles, and ton of little critters to discover... we were in heaven! 


So as in Soulemama's words today, I am blissed out! Today was idyllic and really the epitome of childhood bliss. What a wonderful blessed day we had to top of a great weekend! It really was like a dream come true for me, but most of all to see my children loving the water as I do and truly savoring one of God's magnificent gifts to us, made finding our lagoon worth the wait! 

Daily Verse or Quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”- Gandhi

I know, I know- I am casper but my skin is healthy! 

Can you tell he is teething? 

Fishing with Daddy! 

Shells and a new suit! 

Seriously to top it off the lagoon had tons of wild daisies! 

Where the periwinkles, minnows, and fiddler crabs live! 

Who needs pre-manufactured fun when you find a place like this??

Looking for whales!! She is convinced that they can live in rivers! 

Playing sweetly together!